The Snake Charmer

He'd learned it from his father who'd

learned it from his father who'd

learned it from his father and so on.

He claimed to whoever would hear

it went back a thousand years.

Most people weren't taking but so much risk.

Not only did the snake get used to it,

to the drone of the pipe and the closeness of the basket,

but most charmers took out the poisonous aspects

of cobras and then took out their fangs for good.

Not this one, he didn't think he should.

It was a good thing he understood

how to administer anecdotes.

One time when he smoked

too much opium he got a wild hair

and set the snake loose through those tents over there

then passed out so anecdote was never applied.

It's said about 15 people died.

The Sharpshooter

He pretends it was the rodeo

but some of us know who he really is.

Billy the Kid was scared of him.

He's much older than he looks.

He spends his off time reading books

in Greek and Latin too.

He sees right through everything.

It's a sight to see him sling his guns.

Everyone stands frozen to the spot,

breathless with each shot.

He's intense like that.

His hat has holes from outlaws bands

and has escaped many an Apache's hand, as has he.

He broke free,

some say from Alcatraz.

Then he hid in Juarez

till it all died down.

What "it" was has been found

to be an unapproachable subject.

But it's clear that he loves it

when his horse hits a gallop

and his guns blaze.

You would be amazed

at what he can do.

You'd believe all the rumors true.

But, when you really get to know

the man behind the astounding show

if you ever do

you'll see it all different

but still think it's all true.

The Tattooed Man

No one knows where I really came from

or got my love of pain from.

My native tongue

is clearly not exotic.

I often fly into a fearsome rage

and rattle the bars of my Borneo cage

reducing children to shivering bits.

No one who sees me likes it.

I was a castaway

on a ship that was to carry me away

from unspeakable crimes that remain unspoken,

committed on some far more Northern coast than

Borneo. I just liked it so kept it as my own.

It’s generally thought that I’m from France

and my ship wrecked so I took the chance

and disappeared.

I was feared

by the natives I found

so stuck around.

I dined every day on enemy stew

and executed grisly tortures too.

The Tightrope Walker:

So he says. Though no one fully believes him,

they have to admit they can easily see him

doing any of the above.

He doesn't exactly inspire love.

The trapeze artist shudders noticeably.

for what? It's rather hard to see

until she casts a wayward glance

at the Tattooed Man's hands.

At first sight she looks like she might

go suddenly insane.

Then she looks like that again.

and again,

and again.

The Tarot Reader

photo by Ron Thomas Smith

I’m not pretending.

I can see the beginning

and ending of all I wish.

There's no hiding it.

I went blind at age nine

suddenly and unexpectedly

and lost a finger in an

unfortunate accident.

But I shuffle like lightning

it's almost frightening.

I describe your lies with each card

I put down. It isn’t hard to do.

It astonishes more than a few.

I know exactly what you’re saying,

whether you say it or not.

I knows who came, who went

who hadn’t and who had a lot.

Sometimes I just wander around

muttering ominous phrases,

pointing fingers at sideshow stages,

inciting numerous tears and rages,

stirring up trouble in animal’s cages

and sometimes I’m nowhere to be found.

It's generally thought that I’m unstable

and that I use my powers for ill when I am able.

I frequently give the evil eye

to passers by.

I have pockets full of charms

for good and for harm.

I draw strange figures in the air

and sometimes sit with a frightening stare.

Scared? Beware! I can see your secrets.

My mind is sharp and quick as any whip.

I know your innermost fears.

I am immune to tears.

If you want to be saved

you’d better behave.

Madame Ugly

I was once a beautiful girl.

Now one glance makes straight hair curl

and stomachs and eyes turn in disdain.

No one knows my name.

Just call me Madame Ugly.

I was a happy wife when it started to fall,

it being my face, chin, nose and all

seemed to swell then collapse from within.

I went to doctors again and again

but there was nothing they could do.

I got ugly and uglier too.

And the rare, weird poison that mangled me so

gave me fierce headaches and other woes.

I not only never looked good but never felt good either

and sent my own children into screaming fevers

each time they looked at my face.

I left them with their father and went away

to a place where no one cared.

Only the bravest who see me dare

go back to look again.

I have very few friends.

In defense of others, I’m not kind

and half the time acted half out of my mind.

Maybe it was the weight of my bad luck.

Just like the joke, I made a face and it stuck.

The Contortionist

art by Molly Crabapple

I’m tired of the jokes people make

about not getting bent out of shape.

You wouldn’t believe the questions –

I keep people guessing.

I’m here because I don’t want a normal life;

that and because of the Knife Thrower,

there was an incident

or two, or maybe three.

I was far from innocent, you see.

And I didn’t want a normal life.

I had beautiful, long, Rapunzel-like hair;

like Lady Godiva, it’d be all I’d wear

sometimes. It made my act attract

more attention than I could stand.

There was a man

or two or maybe three.

One night, finally,

I’d had it. I blamed

above all else my glorious mane

for causing me such heartache and woe.

So…

I cut it all off while the tightrope walker walked

over head.

That night I’d wished I were dead.

I’d had my heart broken for the 100th time.

Most suspected the Midway Boss undermined

the whole affair.

Whatever the case, it undermined my hair.

I pretend and grin and then

I pretend to grin again.

(Unofficial) Hellbilly Devil Conjurin', Soul-Sellin' Contract

On this the _____ day of ___________, 2009, I, _________________ do hereby invoke the Devil and all of his legions to meet me at a crossroads in the city/county of _______________, State/Commonwealth of ________________ at Midnight on _________ the ______ day of _____________, 2009.

And I do hereby affirm that on that date and at that time I will render unto the Devil the unbreakable promise of my everlasting and immortal soul at the hour of my death upon the condition that he grant me until that time the following:

1.
2.
3. 

(For additional requsts or footnotes pls. create attachments to this document)

I understand and agree that this contract is binding in all dimensions, infinately, throughout all time.

Additional services may be performed for the Devil in exchange for more time, but such requests will be reviewed on a case by case basis and are not incorporated herein by reference. 

I understand and agree to all terms and conditions of this contract.

Signed this the ______ day of _________________, 2009

________________________________________________
Your signature


________________________________________________
The Devil Himself